My houseguest called me Imelda as I tried to locate somewhere to put his few items for the week. The thought that a shoe collection can be associated with a known dictator is disturbing. I mean, I’m into power but…damn….well….no…no. She’s definitely bad.
In any event, after going through my pairs of shoes…and it’s not 1000…but it may not be 100… So I present to you my Faaaaaaast ass shoes….
Dolce Dolce Dolce…..I found these Diddies at a Neiman’s in San Diego. I remember it like it was yesterday….a friends wedding…I was being very Orient Express on the train ride from LA. I spied these. They introduced themselves as 41’s though I knew it not to be true. However they were so damned sexy plus 50% off so I willed my toes into them and probably wore them a total of 3 times in an 8 year period. Time to go.
Oh these doll babies hail from Melbourne, Australia where I was out with….I think probably The Roots. We were there during their World Cup and I was rooting for New Zealand all the way. I figure a team called The All Blacks couldn’t be half bad. Plus they do a Haka prior to every tournament….a bunch of brown dudes called All Black making war cries to white folks sounded simply delightful. Plus them Maoris were all big and brown and listened to West Coast hip hop just like me! His name was Rawari. He had a cleft so deep and a shoulder span so wide I wanted to climb him and stake a flag on him. Fresh out of South Central LA national flags, I instead found this shoe…also not a true 41 nor 42 as it seemed I now wore, and it’s lovely alabaster inspired heel and I probably wore them twice in 12 years. Them shits hurt! But Rawari did have amazing foot rub game.
I remember She. I wore her along with a fabulous dress Rebecca Pietri picked out for me. She too was too small so i went to good old Andre’s in Hollywood and got him to put elastic on the back heel. It was magic. And so too was my ensemble as I went to Fergie’s wedding with my boy Kid Rock. No camera’s. But Slash and Perla were there. And let’s just say, they were really fun to be around.
I went through a surfing period because I was dating a surfer and he liked clogs. So I was like…cool, let me buy some chunky ass clog type shoes and discover my whole beach life…. The only thing I took away from that relationship was surfing. I cannot stand clogs….but I have a few of them from that era….Fashion Clog??
this hoe ass shoe….laced with every shot of cachaca that happened to trickle down from every bar that I hopped whilst rocking my newly found treasures in their Brazilian motherland. After spending a month in Brazil for work and play I started to think I was Brazilian. I too wanted little ass shoes with high ass heels that made my bootie hike up so I could get my full Namorando on….What generally happened was my ankles giving out on me, going barefoot, and spilling caiprinha’s all over myself and the shoes….but they was cute though….
So here we are….hit me if you want some freebies….